Euphoria
Every morning, even on the weekends, she woke up with the same thought. Her voice still sleepy, she said aloud, “Time to piss some folks off.”
She wasn’t mad or revengeful. She was actually elated, almost blissful. A normal person might say it's drugs, but it was simply her calling.
She still laid in the bed stretching her arms above her head, her legs outstretched; the left one exiting from under the covers. A yawn escaped as she threw the covers off her body and sat up. Her eyes closed as she cracked her neck turning to the left, then the right. She grabbed the phone from her wooden nightstand. Her thumb moved swiftly up and down her screen as she scratched her head.
“Lets go!” she shouted, “oh it's time to cause a ruckus,” she continued as she threw the phone on the bed and headed to the bathroom.
Only about a half of Americans say they are happy overall with their jobs. Well, Selena is one of them. As she spoke her affirmations in the mirror, “I am loved. I am Important. I matter. I have purpose, even if it causes destruction in other people's lives. I am the moment. The disaster. The awakening.” Her mouth formed a smile as finished talking. This job wasn’t only her calling, it was a true passion. Mondays were her go-to day and Mondays after a three or four day weekend were especially purposeful.
She looked at the Echo screen on her bathroom counter that read 7:06am.
“Ok. Ok,” she reassured herself. Now naked, she popped out of the bathroom again and grabbed her phone to view the highway routes.The waze app showed her a predicted time of when traffic would be the heaviest. “Around 8:20 is the turn up.”
She threw her phone back down, walked back into the bathroom, showered and continued her get ready process.
After being dressed the clock read 7:36 and she still had time to prepare her favorite breakfast: Special K Strawberries with banana slices. Selena slid her Nintindo switch that held Mario Kart to the side while finally switching the game to off and sat at her wooden table and quickly scrolled twitter to see if there were any news reports from the weekend. A couple of fatal accidents caught her attention as she scrolled. On average the majority of crashes took place on the weekends; specifically Saturday night going into sunday morning.
“I’m sure Terrance and Majorie are going to be gloating non stop at our next team meeting,” Selena said aloud.
There is so much disdain that comes from “the mondays” that even at her job, it truly isn't expected for the employees to succeed on the first day of the week. But that's what made it even more worth it to Selena to excel. Her thoughts went back to the graph that hangs on her bathroom mirror showing Sunday as the highest achieving and Monday significantly lower. Yeah, She wanted the graph to reflect the effort she put in her daily work, but when it really came down to it, she excitement she received from the death stares, the wheel punches, the “fucks” yelled from the top of lungs was more of an accomplishment to her. On one hand, yeah, the fatalities were a nod to ingenuity, but ultimately, she just wanted to be the biggest interrupter. The biggest inconvenience.
Selena took her last bites, downed the last of the almond milk, then dropped the spoon in the bowl with a clang and rose from the table. Her packed lunch box was grabbed, her sneakers slipped on, and her jacket thrown over her shoulder as she walked out of her apartment.
Getting secured in her blue sedan, she peeped the clock again to read 7:56. She easily backed out of her parking spot and casually drove through the complex until she reached the gated exit. She picked up her phone to see there was a song that appeared on her playlist suggestions that read “Euphoria” and she clicked play.
“Well this is fitting,” She said with a smile. The beginning of the song was gentle and almost too soothing to her until she realized what was being said. “Manipulator? Scam artist?...habitual liar?” she said aloud while chuckling.
The song continued until the music stopped and all you heard was, “But Don’t tell no lie about me, and I won't tell truths about you.”
Selenas eyebrows raised as she looked at her car's console. Her face scrunched up in a satisfying disgust of approval.
As she made her way to the main streets she reached for the banana from her lunchbox and began removing the peel. As the rhythm from the song began to increase, her head nodded with the beat. She took bites and chewed to the melody of his raps. Selena carefully made her way to the intersection to merge onto the highway. Still chewing, she peered to her left to see she was right on time for the build up of Monday morning traffic. The cars were zipping and zooming. Merging and swerving. The light finally turned green and with the parallel lane he turned onto the ramp to descend into the flowing traffic. Again she looked over to her left; the person occupied with their phone not letting the inflow of traffic merge.
“I dig it,” Selena said aloud. She completely supported a defensive driver.
She accelerated with the tempo of the rap, so much to almost tap the car in front of her, quickly hit her signal and swerved in front of the person on their phone, clearly observing them in her rearview mirror lifting their middle finger.
“That's one,” She tallied.
She kept with the flow of traffic. All of the construction was enough to throw anyone off their commute if they decided not to leave early enough; she got a bit more snug in her seat. The song still playing through the stereo and the disses still flying, “I learned from those mistakes,” took her back to one of her first jobs. Too committed to the mission she was almost a fatality herself, but never again. She made sure to utilize her surroundings and double the problem without herself actually being involved in the mayhem.
She quickly reached behind her and grabbed the silver part from her back seat. It was heavy, so her left fingertips still touched the steering wheel while she had to add a bit of effort in with her right to grab the 14 pound alternator.
With a thud she dropped it on top of the banana peel in the passenger seat and let out a huff.
“Shoulda had that up here already, phew!” She exclaimed.
By this time, the song’s beat changed; There was an erie, wavy tone playing behind the lyricist. Something someone would hear in a suspense film. Possibly horror. But Selena caught it just as the highway split into two. Orange cones lined up everywhere, large construction signs showcasing the ideal speed, and a few men out and about with hard hats. The music was the perfect addition to the hazardous landscape the drivers were entering into. Caution was needed. Focus was important. Everyone needed to slow down because the road was curvy and the directions were so confusing, it was the perfect time to cause disorder.
“Matter fact, i ain’t even bleed him yet, can i bleed him? Bet,” The song carried on.
Selena began tapping her brakes, swerving over close to the car next to her, then speeding up causing the SUV and the following cars to do the same and pile up behind her. They were all headed to an underpass where the road narrowed. The determination was building. There were so many commuters that needed to take this route; an accident here in a literal bottle neck so no one could come or go, It would be the perfect inconvenience. The time spent trying to get Triple A, a tow truck, the police; whoever they decided to call- would take hours. This accident would back up everyone all the way back to the ramp where she got on. If the news shows up with their helicopter, the city will be able to see cars on cars with an empty highway ahead of the car crash. She looked in her mirror seeing drivers focused. Hands at 10 and 2. Phones lifted. Sandwiches being bitten. All in the confines of a speeding motor vehicle they would have no control over in a few moments. Her mouth watered and the music egged her on. She rolled down her window. The breeze hit her and she licked her lips then reached over, with muscles activated, grabbed the alternator, the banana in tow and dropped it from her window. She immediately heard the thump from the song and the connection of the rubber wheel coming in fast contact with the metal object. She looked in her rearview mirror to see the SUV lose control, smack into the car to its immediate left then swerve into the concrete barrier. The car to the left slammed into the concrete wall to its left and of course, all the speeding cars behind them crashed into their behinds.
“I’m definitely taking it further,” Selena laughed as she drove off, her eyes focused on the rearview mirror. Small clouds of smoke began to rise, she saw a fist punch a steering wheel and even heard a faint, “Fuck!” in the distance.
She cruised on and made her way through the city continuing to add destruction wherever she could until she found a nice parking lot in front of a peaceful pond to have lunch.
“And that five,” She concluded her tally.
With the windows rolled down, she grabbed her lunch box and pulled out the premade turkey sandwich. Removed from the plastic bag, she took a bite then grabbed her phone to look at the past news reports from the morning. She clicked on the first one she saw and listened.
“Good morning,” the reporter began, “if you're headed southbound on I69, this is your warning to find an alternate route. Sources say this highway will easily cause a 3 hour delay to any destination. But there are questions as to ‘was it foul play’? Or should we say a bad game of Mario Kart? One of the drivers claims someone was playing a sick game. It has already been over an hour and first responders still cannot reach the multiple car pile up.”
“Oh this is awesome,” Selena said.
“As you can see here our eyes in the sky were able to zoom in and see one of the citizens holding up what looks like a-a large car part with a banana peel stuck to it. Whoever decided this Monday morning would be the opportune time to drop a banana on the highway is not someone I want to run into,” the reporter let out a heavy sigh, “ugh, what an inconvenience.”
Selena smiled as she took another bite, “I am the moment. The disaster,” she paused, “This is Euphoria.”
